Lady Gaga: I do wee in bins... but I'd only supervise changing nappies*
The biggest pop star on the planet rarely invites outsiders into her mysterious inner sanctum, know as Haus of Gaga.
So when a chinwag does comes along with the 25-year-old global chart icon, you know it's not going to be a standard blether over a cuppa.
In fact, if there is any bone china to be seen, she is normally wearing it.
And she definitely did not disappoint especially when I asked if she has faced a volcanic nappy since becoming godmother to Sir Elton John and David Furnish's son Zachary.
She said: "Have I changed a nappy? I did assist. I assisted in nappy-changing. It was more of a supervisor's role. It was a management position."
The Lady had summoned me four times during the Children In Need Rocks gig in Manchester on Thursday night, only for each to be called off because of a "hitch".
On the fifth nod, it turned out to be one of the most unusual 15 minutes of my career as The Sun's showbiz boss.
Two Kevin Costner-style bodyguards with earpieces and an iron-fisted female powerhouse of a manager cleared a room backstage.
And when I say cleared the room, they couldn't have done it more efficiently with tear gas.
Gaga then tottered in, spilling white wine from her glass as she tried to keep her balance.
We've met a few times and her black outfit was the most demure I have ever seen her in.
Rock shock ... Gordon Smart with Lady Gaga, Gary Barlow, Coldplay, Elbow and Snow Patrol
DAVE HOGANThe first time we met she was wearing a silver jumpsuit split to her belly button, leaving just about everything on show.
This time she posed for pictures with Pudsey, then came over as the iron fist looked more and more agitated. Because she was so late, a planned photocall with some of the b! iggest a cts on the bill was fast approaching.
But Gaga's security staff kept Gary Barlow who organised the whole concert Coldplay, Snow Patrol and Elbow standing bemused at the door. Chris Martin finally burst through, followed by an army of famous British rock stars. He said: "Right, this is the most soft-rock gathering in the history of music."
As he and Sun snapper Dave Hogan assembled the huge line-up, Chris bypassed security and asked Gaga real name Stefani Germanotta to join in.
With an audience of more than 20 men, she said: "Chris, I have to thank you for one of the most amazing musical moments of my life when you played Fix You for the first time in New York when I was at college. Seeing that and Radiohead were two of the best moments ever."
Chris replied: "Well, Radiohead are like a good Coldplay."
She happily posed for the picture then I spoke to Gaga about going to the toilet in bins and changing nappies.
Gaga's littlest monster ... singer is godmother to Sir Elton John's son Zachary
Maurizio La Pira / Splash NewsShe said: "I did wee in the bin. I know that it might sound really crass but I do wee in bins quite frequently backstage.
"I have to get onstage quickly and sometimes the bathrooms in arenas and such are quite far from the dressing room and I don't want to be late. So I just pee in the trash can.
"It was quite funny on the Alan Carr show because I had this big pink bow on my head and everyone at the Haus of Gaga was laughing so hard at me. It must have been a vision."
I asked if her broad-minded toilet habits helped in her role as godmother to baby Zachary.
It was hard to gauge her reaction because she was wearing a veil over her eyes but she giggled: "It has just been a wonderful experience. It has bee! n amazin g for someone who fights for social equality and gay rights to watch a family like David and Elton, a unique family, to see them raise a young child with so much love.
Grrr-eat ... Lady Gaga at Children in Need concert on Thursday
Dave Hogan"I would definitely say Elton and David are the best numbers on my cell phone. I call them all the time to check up on Zachary. I love him so much."
Gary Barlow spent months emailing Gaga and her team to get her on the bill at the Manchester Evening News Arena.
She said: "It was great when he asked me to do Children In Need. Take That were kind enough to invite me to open for them when they were on their Circus tour, so it was the least I could do.
"There are so many acts Gary has called in who I respect and admire. Chris Martin was singing Marry The Night in the corridor, so I was so happy. We were speaking earlier. We talk about our mutual friends and all sorts of things just the usual stuff.
"I admire him immensely as a musician. He is completely brilliant. He has been to my Monster Ball a few times and I have always looked up to him.
"One of my favourite moments ever at a concert was when I was in college and he had just written Fix You for Gwyneth. They played it as the encore and I remember hysterically crying during the show.
"It is some really amazing songwriting and he's a wonderful person. You never know, we might work together one day. I don't know if it will happen. I'm already working on my new record.
"I'll be back for the new tour next year. I am very excited."
I decided to be brave and ask why she hadn't showed up in a giant egg, wasn't wearing a hamster wheel and didn't have a dustbin lid for a hat.
She said: "You know high fashion and street fashion sometimes it is provocative and sometimes ! it isn't . Tonight we had a very specific Helmut Newton aesthetic."
For those unfamiliar with the Zoolander world of fashion, he was a revered photographer from Germany who worked for Vogue on some of their famous shoots.
There is a very serious side to Miss Germanotta. It's not all bells and whistles from the dressing up box. She has huge plans for her own charitable foundation, which she is running with her mother.
She is putting a Thanksgiving album together for a TV special, plus writing her new album. Which doesn't leave a great deal of time for Christmas shopping. Not that Gaga's Christmas wish is available at Elizabeth Duke or Argos.
"What do I want for Christmas? Just some more great artistic ideas. I have really loved and cherished the last few years.
"The future really excites me. I have such amazing people working now in the Haus of Gaga.
"This is the happiest I have been. Ever. To make a record that I truly believe in and to have it sell so many copies in such a short amount of time, it has been a true revelation and a wonderful gift. It's not about beating Madonna. I actually really like her new song. She is an icon.
"It as about the Haus of Gaga and my monsters."